It’s a slow day at the Embassy so I thought I'd treat you to a heart-warming tale of everyday internet folk.
Our story takes place in Buffalo, New York and some hic-town in West Virginia (did I need to add the prefix "hic"?). The main characters are Tom (a middle-aged Walter Mitty), Jessie (a gullible teenager – or did I need to add “gullible”?), Brian (a tragic opportunist) and Mary (more about her later).
Tom worked in a tool plant in Buffalo. He was married with 2 daughters but decided he needed some spice in his life. So he began scouring the internet for a “companion”. Trouble is, Tom was sick of being Tom so he invented a new persona. Tom became a well-built 18-year old Marine just back from Iraq and looking for romance.
Soon he struck gold. Along came Jessie, a pretty blonde-haired 17-year old high school student from West Virginia eager to find the perfect partner. The cyber-relationship blossomed and before long Tom was sending gifts and (falsified) photos. Jessie was bowled over. Hundreds of hours were lost in on-line chat and declarations of love. Tom’s family were none the wiser.
But Jessie started to worry. It all seemed too good to be true. So she decided to contact a work colleague of Tom’s just to make sure Tom was who he said he was. Armed with the name and address of Tom’s employer (foolishly provided by an over-confident Tom), Jessie managed to track down the email address of Tom’s colleague Brian.
Months of deception unravelled within minutes as Brian confirmed that Tom was more or less the opposite of what he pretended to be. Not only that, Brian turned out to be much more like Tom than Tom, if you see what I mean. Brian was in his early twenties and even more ripe for romance. So Jessie re-focused her affection on Brian.
But she didn't give up entirely on Tom with whom she continued to correspond mostly out of pity. The balancing act proved unmanageable and in a moment of confusion, Jessie left an e-trail back to Tom's new rival. Tom and Brian began squabbling over Jessie.
Then one morning Brian was found dead in his pick-up van with three gunshot wounds to the head. It didn’t take long for the police to point the finger at Tom. Naturally they also wanted to speak to Jessie.
Except that Jessie turned out to be Mary, Jessie’s middle-aged mother who was sending equally bogus “credentials” to Tom (and Brian).
The End
(The moral of the story: Beware of husbands who can't come to the dinner table because they are too busy "blogging".......)
